Chasing My I-dunno-ness

Seven years is a long time. In mystic numerology it is also the number of completion. Coming full circle. Of godhood. Hard sense tells me not to read too much into this. But there is another part of me that cannot help but see the connections. The design.

In September 1999 I visited Ladakh for the first time. It was a trip that resulted in this and this and this and many other happy delusions.

It was an eye-opener of a trip. We biked from Delhi to Siachen Glacier. And biked back. In about 15 days. We were sore-backed but full of memories. It was in Ladakh that I saw a full moon the size of a blimp, emerge from behind a hill in Drass like a halo. I also had the fortune of riding along the grey Indus, a river that I believe defines us more as Indians than the Ganga. I saw the famous double-humped camel of Nubra Valley. I passed through the highest motorable pass: Khardung-La, our longest night crawling as we were in civilian trucks behind a convoy of Bofors guns. This was just a few days was after the Kargil War.

Now I am going to Ladakh once again. On Tuesday I start again for one of the most of mystical places on the planet. And I can't help but see this as a sign of some sort of completion. For the first time in my life, I am happy jobless. And moolah-less. I also have no direction in the ordinary sense of the word. I am between a lot of things. Feeling at times squeezed of ambition. So I travel once again. To Julleh-land. To Buddha-land.

In the same Buddhist metaphysical sense I am not sure whether I will return. Or if I will return as myself as I was, am and supposed to be.

In the same Buddhist metaphysical sense, I really dunno.

So in my I-dunno-ness I flow upwards in defiance of gravity and hard sense.

In my I-dunno-ness I will also touch the tip of the Roof of the World.

I also dunno whether I will continue with Bodhishop...

I hope you guys understand.

Thanks for stopping by. And talking.


  1. Dhiraj,

    You can't cross the same river twice, right? :)

    It's been a real pleasure reading your wonderful blog. So even if you decide not to write here anymore, I hope we will still get to read about your experiences.

    Good luck with your travel.

  2. Dreaming I'm riding on the handlebars enjoying the breeze blowing my hair and viewing all the greatness the mountains have to offer. Along for the ride. A smile on my face. Embraced by your warmth.


  3. will miss your shop


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