You Are Hear: The Spooken Delhi

"Are you a delight?"
"Umm depends…"
"Then where are you from?"

"I believe in mouth to mouth publicity."
"How is it done?"
"Arre, I tell you, you tell someone else and so on."

"You like Undie TV?"
"What's that?"
"Uff, that English channel with Barkha Dutt."

"Sir, you need urine taste."
"Oh it is better than blood taste."

"Your pant is wet."
"I don't think so."
"See it is also leaking."
"Please put sticker on your door so nobody touch wet pant."

"Myself in garment service."
"You mean 'business'?"
"No, Delhi State Garment, Primary Health Department."

"You have balls?"
"Okay, get them for ice cream."

"Please sir, entry from backside."
"If others see they make problem. Today trader strike, no."


  1. Hilarious! The only one I didn't get was balls and icecream. But yes, I've heard variations of every other snippet at some point or another in Delhi.

    Undie TV indeed!

  2. Mikra that's bowls to serve ice cream!!

  3. Aiyiyi. Balls for ice-cream.

    Spooken indeed!


  4. Oh dear, silly me! Of course. Except in my grandpa's village it is eskeem, making it sound diabolical.

  5. Hilarious! I was wondering about the balls too.

  6. Good one :))
    Have you heard this one :
    Man : How much for this barbie doll
    Shopkeeper : Rs. 300
    Man : Can you rape it?
    Shopkeeper : What????
    Man : Yes.. please rape it.. I want to gift it to my niece

  7. oww man...I sure miss delhi.... :D

  8. Heh heh :)

    What is undie TV?

    About wrap/rape, that is typical gujju stuff, like snakes for snacks.

  9. Hey thanks people!! Am now working on restaurant menoos. Suggestions are very welcome!

  10. He-he. Good one. Though, in three years of living in Delhi, I've heard only a couple of the ones on the list. Guess your life is more varied than mine. :)

  11. U guys have have it all figured out! I feel sooooo humbled!!!! :-)

  12. Plain and simple AWESOME!!!
    Even I have started missing "Dilli" now ... just like so many people.

  13. Hilarious...... and i wonder why i hate to love this city.


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